Mirror's Edge PDF Print E-mail
Written by Silver Sorrow   
Sunday, 25 October 2009 21:19
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Mirror's Edge
Is a story really necessary?
Next movement...
It's raining pigs
Look on the bright side...
Now that I've won
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Is A Story Really Necessary?
Your name is Faith, and you're a young Eurasian-ish woman in an unspecified city. You're sort of a messenger. You run from building to building, flitting from rooftop to rooftop...because you can, I suppose. You're a Runner, and I'm guessing took six weeks of bitter, internecine fighting amongst the devs to coin *that* phrase. Instead of wasting my valuable meth-cookin' time (it's the official state hobby of Oklahoma!) to come up with my own way of describing the story, I'll just quote the DVD case. You're welcome.

And I quote:

"In a city where information is monitored, messengers called Runners are the only way to communicate freely. You are Faith, a skilled Runner who's uncovered corruption at the city's core, and now you are being hunted."

*hic* ssank yoo berry muchh 'lectronical artsh...! lov youus mannn.,,,,,,ad......d2


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But Wait! There's More!

Faith has a sister. Her name is Kate. She's a cop. She's Eurasian-ish, too. She's featured early on in a scene where Faith hugs her. I think I held the hug just a little too long.

 

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...Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister...

There's no real point to this section; I just thought I'd mention that. Most people would be ga-ga over Faith. As for me? Kate could beat the hell out of me any ol' time she pleases.

Yes, I've been seeking help. But not the good kind.

The Cast, As If It Mattered

Faith: your character.
Kate: Faith's sister.
Merc: Faith's boss.
Celeste: Faith's co-worker.
Jacknife: Who the hell knows.
Ropeburn: Who the hell cares.
Burnside: inventor of sideburns.
Weenieburn: too much self-abuse.
Supposedly Important Named Characters: I don't care enough to make the effort.
Random Cops: whatever.
Evil Runners: Reborn Jedi.

 

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Expanded: Merc (a truncation of "Mercenary," I guess) is the guy who's always giving you helpful and not-so-helpful advice (thus earning my nickname for him, "Captain Obvious") through this Uhura-like thing jammed in your ear canal. Celeste (heir to the Celestial Seasonings herbal tea empire) is a marginally-presentable blonde woman who's also a Runner. Kate (a nickname for "Katarina," I assume) is Faith's cop sister (oh sweet heavens pull out those kinky little cuffs and ARREST ME) who is framed for the murder of politician, and Faith (short for "Faitholomew") has to run and jump and fall to her death repeatedly until YOU get it right, to get her out of this mess. No one else made the least impression upon me, so to blazes with them all.

Revelation: The story is played out in cutscenes. The game itself is Faith trying to get from Point A to Point B, usually while being chased or harassed in some way by the minions of GenericEvilCo. I eventually got the feeling that the story was some sort of reward for suffering through the agony. "Praise Cthulhu, a cutscene!" I'd growl after surviving yet another gauntlet.

Normal Recipe: Chapter's beginning, cartoon-y cutscene. Running. In-game Cutscene. More running. Chapter's ending, cartoon-y cutscene. Some mixing up is to be expected. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. Serves one.

 

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