Mirror's Edge PDF Print E-mail
Written by Silver Sorrow   
Sunday, 25 October 2009 21:19
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Mirror's Edge
Is a story really necessary?
Next movement...
It's raining pigs
Look on the bright side...
Now that I've won
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Now That I've Won, I Would Say "I'm Goin' To Disneyland!" But They Banned Me Last Time After I Hijacked Dumbo And Tried To Ram Him Into Sleeping Beauty's Castle

I suppose, even after this virtual representation of having each one of your fingernails slowly ripped out, you might want to peruse the Extras on offer. And it has those: a batch of concept art, all the cutscenes in the game including a couple of promo vids, some music, and the ability to play each chapter's run either solo or online. There's plenty of urging on the part of the game for you to compete online, etc., but that's only if you don't have a pathological intolerance for all things multiplayer, like I do.

You can also buy the Time Trial Map Pack DLC, if you're into that sort of thing. Me, I think EA has far too much of my money as it is, and I'd rather not waste any more of it on DLC for a game that I suffered through just because I was bored out of my mind.



All Right, All Right...Just Tell Us What You Thought Of The Game, Pinhead

I liked it. Sort of. Maybe. Okay, I sort of hated it. Actually, I hated it so hard. It's not in my top 10 and it's definitely not in my top 50, but I could safely say that it's in my top 10,000. I was initially put off by some reviews citing frustration with the game, but I reiterate: I was so bored that I gave this one a try. And I'm glad I did...because I feel that up until I played this game, I hadn't truly suffered as a human being should. I thank DICE and EA for giving me a catalyst for the personal affliction I so desperately need in order to grow. Sure beats the hassle of carving out my own liver with a shard of broken glass like I had planned. And much more painful, too!

That the game didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped is a bitter thing, as the presentation and the overall stylish hipness of the game begs you to love it, to place it a special coolor-than-thou cubby hole in your heart. Sadly, I could not do this. I admit that perhaps I've judged the game too harshly here due to my own failings, but I do think that the level design and general flow could have been a little more forgiving. Still, I place this game squarely above a few of the older games I've played recently, such as Neverwinter Nights 2 (*blech*). Hey, at least I finished this game, which is more than I can say about NWN2. However, keep in mind that I finished Mirror's Edge purely out of sheer bloody-mindedness.

Would I play it again? Hell, no.


However, I'm not going to give this game a really low rating. Most of the problems I had with this game were connected directly to my own shortcomings: constant-effect drowsiness, trouble remembering movement keys and combos, slow reaction time, an almost visible aura of irritation surrounding my being, the stomach wolverine, an intolerance for new things, an indifference to change, and one of those fun little 2AM acid bubbles that go right up your throat and lodge in the back, causing you to bolt out of the covers (interrupting that always pleasant recurring dream wherein you're losing your teeth one by one) while gasping/gagging mightily, to spend the next hour coughing so hard that you think you're going to throw up if you don't cough up a lung or two first.

So the game wasn't at fault most of the time.

What I do blame on this title: the generic background story and setting, the complete lack of manual saves, the tiresome running through a hail of bullets most of the time, the tedium of endless repetition for a job well-botched, the inconclusive resolution (a set up for a sequel if ever there was one), and the fact that there is Mirror's Edge fanfiction freely available on the 'net. Normally I wouldn't say a game itself is responsible for the social cancer that is fanfiction, but I'm hurt and angry, and I'm lashing out.

I will say that the game is stylish and attractive to the eye, and I'm sure it has a substantial fanbase. Then again, so does American Idol.

7 out of 10.

Annoyance Rating
Medium. High. Well...very high. Incredibly high. Astronomically so.

Special Thanks To...
Vienna Teng, Steve Hackett, Bolt-Thrower, and Bat For Lashes for keeping me sane throughout this ordeal.

And Kate.


Oh me, oh my.

Game Rated 7.0/10

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Good night, Grace Nakimura...wherever you are!


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